Don’t let the ‘liking gap’ stop you from networking

Have you ever experienced the feeling that people don’t like you? It’s a reaction most of us have had at least once after meeting someone for the first time. 

Well, you’ve probably felt what’s known as the ‘liking gap’.

And when the success of your business hinges on healthy professional relationships, the stress of making a good first impression can be a lot.

What is the ‘liking gap’?

In 2018, a study was published by Gus Cooney, an instructor at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School. 

In it, Cooney suggested the ‘liking gap’ was a kind of behavioural mechanism that came from our inability to ask strangers, coworkers or even our closest friends whether or not they actually liked us.

This can lead us to run through a series of thoughts as we scrutinise every minor detail. We often end up projecting our own, often highly critical insecurities, onto the interaction.

The study showed that the opposite is more likely to happen. We’re often far more pleasant company than we think!

This difference between our own perception of encounters and what’s really happening makes up the ‘liking gap’. 

Bridge the ‘gap’

While it would be impossible to give ‘cure-all’ tips that successfully fix every awkward social interaction, there are ways we can improve our confidence going into these new meetings.

Be present

The liking gap often strikes once we’ve left a situation and we’re alone.

Ever felt like you’ve got home from an event and suddenly you worry that you came across awkwardly? It’s amazing how after a few hours, our brains can take what was a nice chat with someone and turn into something unpleasant. 

By being present in the moment and taking stock of the ways people are actively engaging in conversation with you, you’re more likely to remember interactions more positively. 

We’re all the same

It can be difficult to put ourselves out there, especially when we’re representing our own businesses. For some, the business you’ve grown from the ground up may feel like an extension of you. This might leave you feeling a little nervous to share when you first get through the door. 

But when you enter a networking event full of strangers, it’s important to understand that everyone is there to meet and engage with people just like you. They’re all putting themselves out there with the hopes of making a substantial connection. 

If they can do it, you can too. 

It’s always good to be self-aware, but not to the point it holds you back.

For a better handle on social situations at networking events, check out our blog on improving confidence.